continued perseverance....

I was really enjoying life with less headaches and muscle spasm. The fall went by in a hectic blur of activity. My days were filled with me trying to do as much as I could. I was exercising everyday, and doing household chores with out a skullbusting headache. I have been cooking more and even baking.
Two weeks ago I thought that it would be ok to throw the soccer ball to warm the keeper on Jessica's soccer team up. I only threw the ball to her about eight times, but I guess that it was eight too many....I have had terrible headaches since and two days ago it turned into the skullbuster again.
Once again, I really do not know how I am going to get through this,....I know that I will, but I wonder how

Freedom

Two weeks ago I found a recumbent bike, that I thought that I could ride. I have not been able to go for a bike ride in more than five years. I used to frequently go for bike rides with Samuel and Jessica. So, I asked Steven if he could buy me an early birthday present, and he did. I can ride this bike. I love riding this bike. The first ride along the river, with Jessica...I cried happy tears of joy. Until something lost or taken away...we do not appreciate it fully! I am getting better and I love every minute of it. I am so thankful to be able to be more active and productive.

so near the surface!!!

I have had more good days than bad in the last month for the first time in three years. I love the feeling of no headache at all and even with the lesser headache that I have been having when I do too much, I feel better than I was. I am very tired with the medication, so I drink a lot of coffee during the day to offset that. I like coffee...so that is not so bad. Anyway, because I have been feeling better the last month has been full of lots of laughs and fun. I exercise everyday, and found a bike that I can ride, so I go for nice bike rides by the river....JOY!!!! I love getting better, and dream of more, and working!!!

re-surfaceing

I am not yet there...but feel like I am on my way. I had 8 days headache free and since have had bouts of headaches in trying to find the right dose of my new drug. Too much makes me nauseated and too dizzy, too little and....well the nasty headache comes back much too quickly. I feel better by far overall though and am enjoying it. The nice weather, and having a pool in the backyard has helped. I am using the pool as my physiotherapy right now. Other than the weather, the flowers and fresh lettuce and peas are also a bonus, when you can just step into your yard and pick...what a treat!!

resurfacing...maybe

I have been having trouble ever since I fell down the stairs on May 29th. I kept thinking and saying tomorrow will be a better day...and it was not coming. So, Finally I went to my Doctor again and said I can not stand the side effects of these medications that are not helping anymore. Maybe I should of had more patients with them, but I am running out. My pharmacist had suggested a different drug, which a friend of mine had suggested a few years ago. Although back then I did not know what I know now about the cause of my headache and neck muscle tightness and spasm. My Doctor was quite willing to try it...so day 4 of the new drug and lots of rest. It is not making a difference that I can tell yet but, I do feel better being off of the gabbapentin. Wish me luck, I will blog again as I am feeling better.

spring flowers

I love watching the flowers grow...I have been having trouble with my blood pressure being too low this last week, I fainted once and fell down the stairs. Now my headache is worse, so I am trying to stay positive and enjoy the "flowers"..... :)

precious

Today is Mom and Dad's anniversary, and all I can think about is how lucky we are to have them in our lives to share time with and enjoy their company, their love, and most of all their wisdom.

Boasting and contemplation...at the same time

Although everyone may get tired of my boasting...I am still going to talk about how I am still feeling better. 18 days of better is fabulous to me. After five years of constant skullbusting headaches, to have less of a headache for this long feels like I am dreaming. I am able to do so much more....I have been scrapbooking (the trip to India of course), and yesterday, I planted my garden with not too much help. It is so amazing, and I love it!!! I have been able to do alot more with and for Samuel and Jessica. Watching soccer is so much more enjoyable!! The list goes on...Now for the rehabilitation work to begin, as I have alot of strengthening to do. I start physio on July 8th, and have been starting my exercises at home to get ready.
I used to tell myself that it can't be that bad, and I must be getting wimpy so to speak with the neck pain and headaches. Now that it is so much less, I know for sure that I was not wimpy at all, I was coping well. I am so glad that I persevered and did not give up. I am content with my insistance that there must be some thing, some treatment, some surgery to help get rid of or at least decrease my pain and muscle spasm. I commend myself on having the strength to figure out where I needed to go for help, and keep on trying. I am so lucky that Mom came to India with me, as it made the trip easier and just better.
So, as I look back and ahead there is a certain contentment that things went well, and will continue to improve. What a difference from looking ahead wondering how I was going to cope with the next hour of debilitating pain. thankful and hopeful is what I feel

Comfy Adorable Puppy!

He is so fun!! as well as adorable!! :)

My Funny Girl

She decided that she wanted her hair blue!!! It was fun and she loves it.

back on my feet again

I have had the pleasure of feeling well again since May 3rd, with an increase in medications.  The funny thing is, because I enjoy it so much, until I looked back at the dates....to me it seemed like a long time. So, yesterday I was thinking it is time to start planning on my increase in exercise to strengthen, and get started on physio. Then when I realized that it is only 8 good days in a row, I laughed at myself at the same time as patted myself on the back. Initiative is not my weakness. Yeah!!! Obviously I still have the enthusiasm, or the drive I guess that it is going to take to get stronger, rehabilitate back to higher functioning. That....makes me happy!! I can do it, I just have to be more patient with myself. On that note, I would like to thank all my supportive blog readers and their comments on encouragement. I am thinking ahead, and excited for what is to come.

  cheerio!!!

I love when the tulips come up and the buds open on the shrubs and trees. New life is exciting!!! I have not written on my blog because I had a really tough week last week. My headaches and neck pain with muscle spasm all got worse last week, and nothing was working to back it off. I didn't get much sleep because of it.

 I have increased one of my medications and although it has increased my dizziness, I am feeling better, the headaches are a little less, the muscles are quite a bit better....so maybe I am on my way again:)

life's lessons are sometimes more profound than we realize at the time!!

"I've learned that goodbyes will always hurt...Pictures never replace being there..Memories good or bad will always bring tears..And words can never replace those feelings..."

I took this quote from Jonathon, and I have learned the same, thought I would share

Perspective

I believe that holidays are very important for many reasons. One of them, rest is different when you are away on a holiday because there is no list of things that you should be doing running through your mind. There is often no cooking, cleaning etc. The most important reason and the one that initiated my thought today is that the distance from your everyday life helps to put things into perspective-if you allow it to happen that is. It allows you to take a breath and think about what is really important to focus on, and maybe what needs to change. Just some thoughts I would like to share.
I believe the soul needs to allowed the freedom to breath, so to speak.
Holidays are extra special if the trip opens up a door to healing!!!

spring yardwork

WOW!!!... I must be feeling better I have had just had two busy days, and added some flower bed spring clean up, and pruned the shrubs. I am in more pain but still tolerable. This is sooo fabulous...I am very happy, and soon I get to increase the medications.

Easter Egg Hunt

The Easter egg hunt had to be above ground so puppies would not get the find first

Happy Easter

I am So looking forward to going home to Mom and Dad's for Easter. It is going to be very enjoyable with so much less pain. We are leaving tonight instead of in the morning. Although it was Samuel's idea- I am thinking that I would like to as well. I am thinking that the drive will be so much easier.

I hope that everyone reading has a happy Easter!! :)

waking up to a beautiful day!!

I have said this to myself many times, to Mom a number of times, and to friends a few times,....but I want to tell my readers today because I feel like yelling it to the sky-"IT IS SOOO FABULOUS TO WAKE UP WITH OUT A HEADACHE!!!!"
I am still ending up with a headache throughout the day with the same triggers that used to worsen the headache and muscle spasm, but the point is, I have many mornings that I am waking up without a headache. There are no words to describe how wonderful that is, just as there were no words to describe how aweful it was to wake with a skullbuster every morning.
It is good to be thankful-and I am thankful. I hope that everyone is having a wonderful day!

some things are amazing to me

I was really sick this weekend with sinusitis and bronchitis, my fever was 40.1. I felt aweful, but as soon as the antibiotics kicked in I was good to go..even with all of the irritation to my neck muscles with the coughing...I still feel better than I have in 5 years. WOW! I am so thankful for the idea from Dr. Gosh in India with the meds.

peppermint Bow!!!

Jessica discovered that not only does Bow love peppermints, but he chews them well....lol!!

I am still excited about spring

.....between yesterday morning and this morning I have come down with a nasty head cold. Samuel and Jessica have it as well. Then this morning we wake up to a spring snowfall with a fairly nasty wind....but it takes alot more than that to get me feeling less than fabulous.....because my headache is still less, although it did threaten to get worse this morning as my neck muscles really do not like to brush the snow off of the car!!!! Then I left my cell phone in my spring jacket that I have been wearing...then I stopped at Staples to do some photo-copying...then I locked my keys in the car (since it has been so nice I took my extra set out of my purse, lol)....then while I was waiting for a ride I reeeally had to go to the bathroom, but the water was turned off in Staples because of some some water line work, and therefore the bathroom was locked and out of service.

If you asked me how I am...I would still say FABULOUS, because life is nice with less pain

spring has sprung

...and maybe I have as well. It seems really timely to me that this is when I am feeling better. Today is the 6th day in a row that I have been feeling "well". I had five tougher days last week after the four good ones. I feel stronger and am tolerating basic activities of daily living much better, what a concept...what a wonderful thing. It is really hard to describe how difficult it has been to go through each day with muscle spasm surrounding my neck and shoulders...not to mention the constant headache as well. I know there are other people that can relate, I am just speaking from my own experience. I am hoping that this stays, and can not wait to get to the strengthening stage. With my headache much less, I can think clearer and have way more energy. My neck muscles remain tight but are not in spasm, unless triggered, then they will still spasm. My left shoulder (trap) muscle is softening as well.
I was to see my neurosurgeon here in Saskatoon last week, and he says that if either I can not tolerate the drugs, or when I try to go off of the drugs....the c-2 nerve can be permanently cut. This information was like another door opening to me and I felt very happy about that.
Today..when I saw my chiropractor he noticed quite a difference in my posture, and of my elation.
Last year...I went scrapbooking on Monday evenings for a little while with two friends. I always needed to take extra narcotics to get through the evening, but really needed to get out-and I also really wanted to make Mom something special for her 65th birthday. Jessica came with me a few times and she really liked it as well. She made herself an awesome scrapbook of our trip to Florida and the Bahamas four years ago. Jessica and I have been planning our next project and are looking forward to scrapbooking in the eve again, hopefully with the same friends.
Last week I bought myself a world cup soccer ball, I chose the Netherlands, because it is orange!! Samuel and Jessica can use it of course, but maybe-I can play pass with them outside this year!! The little dreams(which are actually quite big to me) are important as well.

I hope that anyone reading is dreaming!!!

spring morning

I have had a couple of days tougher than my four good days last week. So...when I woke up feeling better this morning I felt thankful again. At 0600 this is what I saw when I was outside with Bow.....

...what a beautiful sky we enjoy

and look at this handsome boy!!!  :)

funny moments

as I am reminiscing the trip I am going through the photo booth pictures that I took on the plane to distract us....and I just can't stop laughing. These pictures are when I had selected the option to take 4 photos sequentially.

then i did it again...and it was just as funny

we are both good at making the best of things...and together we did great on the trip...I am really missing her right now!!

random thoughts

Pain is something that is experienced by almost everyone in one way or the other & yet people fail to recognize it when it has not touched them. Compassion is such a rare commodity. We can’t face every adversity to know how terrible an experience it could be. 


Sometimes we know what we need, but don't know how to obtain it, can not obtain it, are afraid to ask for it, or don't know how how to ask for it..hmmm......then what??

shaky days....

Well..I have to say for discussion sake that even though I am having trouble still with the low blood pressure, dizziness and fatigue or lethargy-that the brake from the skull buster is unbelievably wonderful. I have been kept up 3 partial nights with my headache, but it still has not been as intense-not even close. (If you are reading this-Patti,....yes-I am doing my usual minimizing)
Anyway, I see it all as progress that was not happening before!! I did my typical thing and was enjoying the little energy spurt that I had last week, and overdid it...resulting in an increase in headache and the muscles became more irritable...and I was exhausted....but I did enjoy my days!!! I have trouble with "caution"-when I finally feel some wellness. I will figure out a balance as I go..maybe!!
My regular pharmacists have been wonderful at discussing the new drugs with me, so that is helpful. I am interested in seeing Dr. Sadanand this week, as well as my GP. I am curious as to what they will have to say about the end result of the India trip.
My mind is doing it's thing and creating ideas of what I can do to combine my learned knowledge from this injury and lengthy recovery, with my education. I have lots of ideas, but am open to suggestions if any of you have any. I realize I am ahead of myself again-but it's the dreaming that keeps me looking forward.
Once again...I hope all is well with anyone reading and looking forward to hearing from you...take care.

I just wanted to share this pic of two great guys!!

gorgeous!!!

I bought myself some jeans

I have lived mostly in sweats the last four years....so I bought myself two pairs of jeans...just spur of the moment. It feels great to have jeans on...isn't that silly. Four good days, and I am feeling silly. Although today the dizziness and hypotension(low Blood pressure) was a little worse, it still feels better than a blasting constant headache.
I did a funny thing this morning...Judee and I made plans for coffee, at City Perk. She was very specific that it was for Friday the 19th, but I was sooo excited about it, that I put jewellery on, and lipstick, and went today. When she didn't show up I checked our notes and realized I had the wrong day. I just stayed and enjoyed my cappuccino, and did some work with my pics. I had brought my laptop to show Judee the pics from India. I had a nice time anyway...lol, and told them to reserve the same table for next Friday the 19th!!!  
So,...cheers to another good day!!! Hope all of you are having a great day!!!

SUNNY DAYS

I am bursting at the seams to share that..I am on my third grrrreat day!!!! I am hoping that it will last...pretty sure it will. My headache is waay less, the muscle spasm is greatly reduced. The superficial muscles are much softer, just the deeper muscles remain quite, so much improvement. I am enjoying this so much that the dizziness, hypotension and tachycardia seem minor. whooohooo...cheers for that!

SAVED

I think that I have my blog fixed.....IT WAS THE #@##*%$###...HAMSTER.....lol:)
Sorry about that everyone!

HOME

....well long journey again!!! This time the journey took us home. Both Mom and I were glad to be home, and everyone was glad to see us. Although I do have to add that I have mixed feelings as I have expressed before, because I had a dream. The dream was of course to come home somewhat better. I believe in dreams-it is important to dream, it is also important to accept and move on. Create new dreams...carry on, and....PERSEVERE

LAUGHTER

I needed one more picture of Mom and I, because I of course am working on my iphoto scrapbook already. So this is the picture that we ended up with-the quote that I put with it was  "our laughter journeyed with us  on this adventure". It really got us through the tough times!!! I just thought that I would share that with such loyal thoughtful followers.

I needed to blog one more time before we left...lol.

Aunti Dora...if you are reading this...it is 7:23 PM, and we are being picked up at 10:15...I have not packed yet!!!!

I am not ready to leave, because I do not feel better...and I wanted to return home feeling better

bear with me, as I hesitate

BON VOYAGE

BREAKFAST AT "MAINSTREET"

Every morning Mom and I would have our breakfast in the same restaurant in the hotel. There was always a fabulous buffet, which we enjoyed very much. Each morning the staff would remember us more, and automatically bring us cappuccino for me, black for me. Soon they were making a plain omelette for Mom, poached egg for Mom. With cheery greetings and special service each day we have gotten quite attached to them. So, yesterday I wanted pictures with each of them-they were thrilled, and flattered.

This is "Eli",...for short because she said it would be hard for us to pronounce her whole name...LOL

These are the four cooks-left:master chef-next two: the ones who remembered our eggs

This is the restaurant manager-Ravi G...when we walked in this morning he said that this was a sad day for him because we were leaving tonight, telling us it has been such a pleasure having us.

...and this gentleman was the one usually bringing our coffees etc. He is such a sweetheart and told both of us that he will never forget us. He also asked us to please remember him and come back again,... very sincerely.  

This is Roop Chadda...the director of operations at the hotel

a very personal gentleman, who made us feel very welcome and was very informative as to how to get around, hiring hotel cars etc. He asked us to call him anytime, and said to keep in touch once we were home. :)  

 Eli gave me a gift of beautiful glass colorful bangles (24), and they served us this cake.

...not only was the gesture incredibly touching, it was delicious!!! :)

TUESDAY

I have not been up to adding a post for a couple of days...and I do have some great pics to add. I will do that on another post. As the India part of my adventure is nearing the end...I am feeling quite sad right now.  I was really hoping to come home with a significant improvement. Although I left home with an open mind, I was still hoping for the best. Who knows maybe the medications will still work, but I am having a great deal of trouble with dizziness right now. And, no change in the headaches. It will take awhile for them to settle the nerves, if they will. Therefore, as much as I miss Samuel, Jessica and everyone else at home...I am not ready to leave. I am supposed to be seeing Dr. Siddhartha Ghosh (the neurosurgeon) today, so we will see what he has to say. Keep thinking those happy thoughts for me...they always make their way to me. Thank you!!  
     love me

A DAY OF REST

I did not sleep well last night, so we decided we would have a day of just resting. 

we went to the terrace, while our room was being cleaned.

otherwise we just hung out in the room, enjoying each other's company.

Now...I have been up since 0400 with my headache so I thought 

this would be a good way to pass the time

I continue to dream..it's the dream that keeps me going